


should've known you'd bring me heartache (almost lovers always do)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: kill your heroes and fly (never let fear decide your fate) [6]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers Samurai
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Backstory, Bittersweet Ending, Character Study, M/M, POV Ji, Pre-Canon, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 04:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18403535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Ji can barely bear to look at Antonio, at all the ways this boy is everything Ji was and never could be.Oh, in some subconscious way, Ji realizes that Antonio is not him. He knows that Antonio comes from outside of the the Clans, that's probably what makes the biggest difference between them, what makes Antonio so much more dangerous to the family then Ji ever could be. Antonio is something fresh and blinding and oh so dangerous.Mentor Ji sees the way that Jayden looks at Antonio, and if not exactly the sort of way that can be reversed easily. It's the sort of way that people outside of the Clans look at their Soulmates, like they want to spend the rest of their lives with their soulmate and see no reason why they shouldn't. It's a look Ji hasn't seen in Jayden's eyes since he was five and he first met Antonio.(It's a way that Alan Shiba never looked at Ji.)





	should've known you'd bring me heartache (almost lovers always do)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tsukino_Akume](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsukino_Akume/gifts).



> Title is from the song "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy.

_Because what’s worse than knowing you want something,_

_besides knowing you can never have it?_

**-James Patterson**

 

Ji can barely bear to look at Antonio, at all the ways this boy is everything Ji was and never could be.

Oh, in some subconscious way, Ji realizes that Antonio is not him. He knows that Antonio comes from outside of the the Clans, that's probably what makes the biggest difference between them, what makes Antonio so much more dangerous to the family then Ji ever could be. Antonio is something fresh and blinding and oh so dangerous.

Mentor Ji sees the way that Jayden looks at Antonio, and if not exactly the sort of way that can be reversed easily. It's the sort of way that people outside of the Clans look at their Soulmates, like they want to spend the rest of their lives with their soulmate and see no reason why they shouldn't. It's a look Ji hasn't seen in Jayden's eyes since he was five and he first met Antonio.

(It's a way that Alan Shiba never looked at Ji.)

-

When Jayden was eight years old, Ji had told him that he couldn't see his soul mate again. He had told him that, for the future of the the Samurai, that little boy had to give up the only thing that made him smile.

And Jayden, head bowed, had listened. He had nodded and the next time Ji had seen him in short sleeves, his Soulmarks were gone.

His face had been miserable, but Ji had felt a certain sense of relief. The Samurai team could have a future if Antonio didn't enter the picture. They could save the world, as long as Jayden kept to his duty.

-

When Antonio returns, Ji doesn't quite hate him, but he resents what Antonio represents. The hope, the determination, the  _promise_ -

He hates that when Alan told Ji not to interfere, not to write him, Ji had obliged. But Antonio- he hadn't. He had kept writing, had come back, had trained for years in order to join the Samurai team.

Ji knows (or at least, thought he knew) that, for the sake of the world, Antonio should have stayed away from Jayden.

Ji hates the fact that Antonio is such a good addition to the team, that there is no real reason why Ji could send Antonio away. Whether it's fighting in battle, strategizing, or cracking the black box, Antonio makes himself indispensable to the team.

(And Ji hates the fact that he envies Antonio's strength to not listen to Jayden, to insist on a relationship, to be selfish and insist on what the Code forbids.)

-  
  
Antonio and Jayden return back from a pool and they move far more easily with each other than they have since Antonio showed up.

When Ji first catches Antonio and Jayden kissing, something curls in his chest, something hot and bitter.

Alan Shiba never did that with him, cut him off from day one. He’d spoken on the nature of the Code, on how a Red Ranger could never give into his "urges," on how the only way to defeat Xandred was for every Samurai to reject their Soulmate, as had been duty for centuries.

(And then Alan had gone and married Karen Hanson, a woman outside of the Clans, because bringing new blood into the clans would increase fire power or something of the like.

But it didn't matter anyway- what mattered is that Ji nodded and never protested Lord Shiba's decisions. Ji was a loyal member of Clan Watanabe. He wouldn't argue with the Lord of the Clans, the Red Ranger.)

-

Xandred is destroyed, and Alan is dead, and Ji is sitting in his room, an old photo in his hands- Alan and Karen at their wedding, Ji there to help with the blessing.

Ji could have been a Pink Ranger if Bethany hadn't been first in line. As a cousin of Mia's mother, his birth had been only four months away from the station. He could have died in that initial invasion of the Shiba household. He could have died defending Alan.

(Ji wishes he had, a lot of the time. He wishes he could have fought in that battle, defended his Soulmate, somehow prevented Alan's death.)

But instead, Ji had been left behind to take care of the Shiba children, and he had done his duty. He had trained Jayden, helped hide Lauren, taken care of preserving the Shiba family.

He listens to little Hatsu Shiba shouting in laughter, glimpses her running around with Jayden and Antonio out in the courtyard beyond his window. Her red tank top streaks his vision in the mid-day sun, unlike Jayden's loose gray t-shirt that he most assuredly borrowed from Antonio.

Ji swallows, something in his heart clenching at the sight. He did his duty. The Shiba children and, of course, the world, are still alive. 

(Ji made two children miserable, tore them away from their only remaining family and their Soulmates. And yes, the world ended up saved in the end, but was it worth it? Did Jayden and Lauren's misery mean anything?)

He looks at the photo one last time before setting it face down on the nightstand where it used to rest.

_I did my duty, Alan, and I can't help but hate you a little bit for it._


End file.
